Today Mr. Naman is wearing his simple kura-paijama. He is sitting in his lawn. The time is 5 p.m., a very cool breeze is blowing, children are playing at some distance. Sunset will be soon and the color of sky is a shade between purple and orange. Had it been any other day, Mr. Naman would have just plainly sat there thinking about nothing. Yes, Mr. Naman has a gift by virtue of which he can pass time (once days), thinking about nothing. His mind can remain blank for any amount of time. His eyes remain open, his hands do not cover his ears, nose can sense any change in odour, stimuli is active as ever but still, with all 5 senses on, he can shut off his mind. It is his talent.
But today, with all things opportune for Mr. Naman to shut off his thinking process, he still was not able to do so. He is haunted by a question. And that question is not easy by any standards. The question is as follows: Suppose you know a person who is going to commit suicide for reasons you do not know. Hypothetically, Let's say you are walking on a bridge where you find a young girl standing on the rails to jump into the river below and commit suicide. She just has 2 mins during which she is doing a final evaluation of her decision and you happen to walk by. Now, in order to console her, what should you do?
Mr. Naman believes that there are two ways to go about it. The first way is that you tell her about the good things about this world, the beauty of life, beauty in animate things, structure in inanimate things, remind her of any newborn's smile, of the sound of music, of colors, of the joy that people get in small things in life. Of course, how will you do that in 2 mins before she jumps is a different question.
The second way is to tell her that there exists someone in a more miserable situation than her. There is always someone in higher pain, lower morale, lacking in any form of energy to keep his thoughts together. But still, that guy has that little enough sense to wait and let time pass and months or years later, time will change and he again will see good days.
Now the question is which story should be discussed with that girl. Mr. Naman is unable to ensure that one is better than the other. Mr. Naman after spending his entire evening has eventually come up to a conclusion. This has nothing to do with the fact that his mother called 1 minute ago saying that the dinner is ready. Nor it has to do with the cult movie that is about to start after 15 mins.
Mr. Naman has concluded that this is one of those questions whose answer depends on the type of personality a person has. According to him, there are two types of optimistic people in this world. One, who are inspirational optimist who feel good after they see better people and get inspired from them. The other kind is exploitative optimist who see the opportunity and then fell good on how they can exploit it. Depending on the typw of optimist you are, you will chose the above ways.
However, what if you are not an optimist at all? , asks Mr. Naman to himslef. In that case, you will jump along with the girl comes the answer from his right brain to left.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Chapter 11
When Mr. Naman was a child, (yes, just to clarify the purists, Mr. Naman was a child once and he is not a child anymore), his parents had arranged for him to learn music. They were, from the day Mr. Naman turned 5 years and 45 days had known that their child will not become anything of any consequential importance to society. It is believed that such a thing came to Mr. Naman's mother in a dream and when she revealed this to Mr. Naman's father, he believed it even before she had said it.
So began her attempts to defy destiny and among her various attempts, one of them was music. She arranged a local musician to teach Mr. Naman music. This local guy was a harmonium player and a vocalist and was of the opinion that you cant do one without the another. So it began 3 days a week, the days of week chosen for such a blessed event were Monday, Wednesday and Friday. As when the clock strikes 8 pm on saturday, every child, every person in Ugar switches on the Doordarshan channel to watch the weekly movie, on these three days, all gods in all the three worlds abandon their work and dedicate all their attention to capture this event live.
Anyways, this local musician came the first day, with his harmonium and introduced himself. He got boy Naman's introduction and had general conversation explaining the way he will be conducting his tuition and what is expected of naman in his absence. All this conversation was being followed by boy Naman's mother with utmost attention. On his second day, he started with the basic practice,commonly known as riyaaz with he and Mr. Naman sitting in an isolated room.
Now this local musician teacher beside teaching music also was an astrologer by profession. He claimed to be an expert in palmistry and during the third day, he could not resist merging both of his professions and asked Mr. Naman to show his hand so that he can read it. That was it! His eyes could not believe it. His face was glowing, his heart was full of emotion. Was it joy, one can not be sure about such two-faced emotions.
He urgently called boy Naman's mother and broke the news to her. "Madamji, your son, this boy here, i have read his hand and he has a very bright future, super bright future. He is going to become a very big singer. Fame will come to him. His name will be as known as Lata Mangheskar or as Kishore Kumar. His voice is going to be immortal."
Boy Naman's mother who had heard of this guy's astrology skills was very happy, she believed him instantaneously. She knew that her prayers will be answered. It was all happening for her. Boy Naman was also very excited because he had surely heard of Kishore Kumar and liked his music. Overall, the atmosphere in the house can be compared to the atmosphere of a class whose professor has just announced that due to some unavoidable circumstances he will not be taking lectures the next week. In other words it is known as "nirmal anand" or pure bliss.
And so the weekend passed with great anxiety. In those days, every woman who lived at a two stone's throw of Naman's house had heard this news. And now dont think that boy Naman's mother was throwing stones at other's homes.
Time passed as it usually does and then came the next Monday, the day of the next class and the clock struck 5 pm but the musician was not there. Slowly, slowly the clock struck 6 and the musician had still not arrived. "May be he was not well today" though the mother and waited for Wednesday. But same story was repeated on Wednesday and Friday. After probing for the musician's whereabouts it was revealed that due to some financial problems he has run away after taking the month's advance fees from all his clients.
And upon hearing this news, needless to say, Naman's parents were crushed but for some reason boy Naman was happy. And that was the end of Mr. Naman's musical career. Deep down, Mr. Naman's mother still carries a thought that there is still time and may be his prediction will come true. Mr. Naman on the other hand is glad and when anyone compares his voice to a crow, his answer is simple - Do not judge me now, it is predicted that i have the potentital to be the next Kishore Kumar.
So began her attempts to defy destiny and among her various attempts, one of them was music. She arranged a local musician to teach Mr. Naman music. This local guy was a harmonium player and a vocalist and was of the opinion that you cant do one without the another. So it began 3 days a week, the days of week chosen for such a blessed event were Monday, Wednesday and Friday. As when the clock strikes 8 pm on saturday, every child, every person in Ugar switches on the Doordarshan channel to watch the weekly movie, on these three days, all gods in all the three worlds abandon their work and dedicate all their attention to capture this event live.
Anyways, this local musician came the first day, with his harmonium and introduced himself. He got boy Naman's introduction and had general conversation explaining the way he will be conducting his tuition and what is expected of naman in his absence. All this conversation was being followed by boy Naman's mother with utmost attention. On his second day, he started with the basic practice,commonly known as riyaaz with he and Mr. Naman sitting in an isolated room.
Now this local musician teacher beside teaching music also was an astrologer by profession. He claimed to be an expert in palmistry and during the third day, he could not resist merging both of his professions and asked Mr. Naman to show his hand so that he can read it. That was it! His eyes could not believe it. His face was glowing, his heart was full of emotion. Was it joy, one can not be sure about such two-faced emotions.
He urgently called boy Naman's mother and broke the news to her. "Madamji, your son, this boy here, i have read his hand and he has a very bright future, super bright future. He is going to become a very big singer. Fame will come to him. His name will be as known as Lata Mangheskar or as Kishore Kumar. His voice is going to be immortal."
Boy Naman's mother who had heard of this guy's astrology skills was very happy, she believed him instantaneously. She knew that her prayers will be answered. It was all happening for her. Boy Naman was also very excited because he had surely heard of Kishore Kumar and liked his music. Overall, the atmosphere in the house can be compared to the atmosphere of a class whose professor has just announced that due to some unavoidable circumstances he will not be taking lectures the next week. In other words it is known as "nirmal anand" or pure bliss.
And so the weekend passed with great anxiety. In those days, every woman who lived at a two stone's throw of Naman's house had heard this news. And now dont think that boy Naman's mother was throwing stones at other's homes.
Time passed as it usually does and then came the next Monday, the day of the next class and the clock struck 5 pm but the musician was not there. Slowly, slowly the clock struck 6 and the musician had still not arrived. "May be he was not well today" though the mother and waited for Wednesday. But same story was repeated on Wednesday and Friday. After probing for the musician's whereabouts it was revealed that due to some financial problems he has run away after taking the month's advance fees from all his clients.
And upon hearing this news, needless to say, Naman's parents were crushed but for some reason boy Naman was happy. And that was the end of Mr. Naman's musical career. Deep down, Mr. Naman's mother still carries a thought that there is still time and may be his prediction will come true. Mr. Naman on the other hand is glad and when anyone compares his voice to a crow, his answer is simple - Do not judge me now, it is predicted that i have the potentital to be the next Kishore Kumar.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Chapter 10
Today Mr. Naman has been his usual self for the whole day. This is indeed unusual. When Mr. Naman is spending the day in his usual self, even a school boy enjoying his summer break, doing nothing except just watching the day pass, feels an emotion called envy when he hears Mr. Naman's break up for the day.
He had not taken his bath for the whole day. Mr. Naman is of the opinion that people bathe because they fell dirty either from inside or outside. Mr. Naman has never experienced such a feeling except when someone else has told him. He had spent the entire morning writing something on his bed and when it came for lunch, he was successful in avoiding eating it on the dining table.
As a bird grips a branch of a tree and starts to enjoy its food amidst clean air and natural tree shade, Mr. Naman today experienced similar joy. He (re)arranged his living room's architecture by dragging a stool near the sofa, then he sat on the sofa, spread his legs on that stool and ate his lunch while watching television and most importantly, without any interruption.
Just like a musician in his riyaas(practice) can go on and on if not interrupted, just like a sanyasi while doing meditation achieves a state of trance where he can meditate for days, Mr. Naman could have gone endlessly watching television sitting in the pose described above. Had he been a little clairvoyant and foreseen is desire to have icecream before he sat on sofa, he could have avoided getting up and thus avoided the interruption.
In his usual self, Mr. Naman today also followed his usual ordering of having the different meal courses by starting with the desert. Mr. Naman's usual diet is like a sandwich in which the upper and bottom layers consist of a dessert or sweet dish as it is popularly known and main course occupies some space between them. The question on when to stop the first round of dessert, and when to stop the main course so that adequate justice can be done to the final round of dessert is a non-linear optimization problem which even the most talented of mathematicians are unable to solve till today.
After having his meal, he had spent the entire afternoon on hs bed but this time, instead of writing on paper with hands, he was writing with a magical ink which will soon dissolve with the atmosphere as soon as he wakes up. The scientific name of this form of writing is dreams.
Waking up from his afternoon siesta, Mr. Naman spends entire evening walking, hiking the beautiful landscape of Ugar. With no worry about any time restriction to return home, with no idea of time or distance as a dimension, with only a smile on his face and a happy soul, he wanders until the moon comes and acts as a torch to guide him back to home.
Now how Mr. Naman was able to achieve such a feat? With a frequency slightly better than Hayley's comet, Mr. Naman is able to spend such days whenever his parents go to Haridwaar and leave him alone to take care of himself. He still has 2 more days and he feels that he has done enough work for the next two days.
He had not taken his bath for the whole day. Mr. Naman is of the opinion that people bathe because they fell dirty either from inside or outside. Mr. Naman has never experienced such a feeling except when someone else has told him. He had spent the entire morning writing something on his bed and when it came for lunch, he was successful in avoiding eating it on the dining table.
As a bird grips a branch of a tree and starts to enjoy its food amidst clean air and natural tree shade, Mr. Naman today experienced similar joy. He (re)arranged his living room's architecture by dragging a stool near the sofa, then he sat on the sofa, spread his legs on that stool and ate his lunch while watching television and most importantly, without any interruption.
Just like a musician in his riyaas(practice) can go on and on if not interrupted, just like a sanyasi while doing meditation achieves a state of trance where he can meditate for days, Mr. Naman could have gone endlessly watching television sitting in the pose described above. Had he been a little clairvoyant and foreseen is desire to have icecream before he sat on sofa, he could have avoided getting up and thus avoided the interruption.
In his usual self, Mr. Naman today also followed his usual ordering of having the different meal courses by starting with the desert. Mr. Naman's usual diet is like a sandwich in which the upper and bottom layers consist of a dessert or sweet dish as it is popularly known and main course occupies some space between them. The question on when to stop the first round of dessert, and when to stop the main course so that adequate justice can be done to the final round of dessert is a non-linear optimization problem which even the most talented of mathematicians are unable to solve till today.
After having his meal, he had spent the entire afternoon on hs bed but this time, instead of writing on paper with hands, he was writing with a magical ink which will soon dissolve with the atmosphere as soon as he wakes up. The scientific name of this form of writing is dreams.
Waking up from his afternoon siesta, Mr. Naman spends entire evening walking, hiking the beautiful landscape of Ugar. With no worry about any time restriction to return home, with no idea of time or distance as a dimension, with only a smile on his face and a happy soul, he wanders until the moon comes and acts as a torch to guide him back to home.
Now how Mr. Naman was able to achieve such a feat? With a frequency slightly better than Hayley's comet, Mr. Naman is able to spend such days whenever his parents go to Haridwaar and leave him alone to take care of himself. He still has 2 more days and he feels that he has done enough work for the next two days.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Chapter 9
Mr. Naman is a big fan of Quentin Tarantino. This is his homage to the great writer.
Voices
Characters:
(1)Actual
(2)Practical
(3)Diplomat
(4)Extremist
(5)Liberal.
(6)Rational
(Actual)I want to make an adult movie.
(Practical)What? You want to make a movie with sex and porn in it?
(Actual)No, that's not what i meant. I want to make a movie for mature audience. People achieve maturity when they become adult.
(Extremist) Then, you do not know children these days. They are more mature than adults. Have you not heard the DPS scandal etc?
(Liberal) I disagree completely. You should not be divisive using age as a parameter. Truth in any form should not be covered. Let the children see and accept the reality.
(Practical) Dude, have you gone crazy? You will be blown up even before you begin your casting.
(Extremist) Yeah, RSS, VHP, hindu fundamentalist, Muslim extremist, Bengali feminists and Delhi activists, they all will plot to kill you, your effigies will be burnt. Even if you are successful in making the movie, your movie will never see the light of the day.
(Liberal) What the fuck? Everyone has the freedom of expression. It is our right. One should not fear these extremist.
(Practical) (Laughing. Laughing continues)
(Liberal) Have i made a joke here? It is people like you who in your craving for security has allowed such bloody extremists to inject fear in us. It is people like you.....
(Rational) Okay, okay. So what is going to be in the movie? What is the premise?
(Actual) Thank you for allowing me to speak. It is just a movie talking about problems faced by adults like their stress life, old age, and ofcourse sex is an integral part of it.
(Practical) Yeah, no problem is bigger than the fucking sex problems of adult life.
(Rational) What do you think ? (pointing towards diplomat)
(Diplomat) I agree and disagree at the same time. I think it is a great premise but the society is not ready to see such a thing.
(Extremist) Why cant you focus on problems that are not sexual in nature?
(Liberal) Sniggers. Hypocrit, Bloody hypocrit.
(Actual) hmmm, so i need your consent before i choose. Okay. Other topics include atheism, religious fundamentalism, futility of war etc. Will you be able to digest that?
(Liberal) If you go by their terms, all that will be left is a dream.
(Practical) And if you do not then all that will be left is your ashes.
(Rational) Oh, come on, we are going around in circles. There has to be a way out. Diplomat, suggest a way out.
(Diplomat) Me? I say yes and no at the same time. Make a movie but give a spin off to these
topics so that it looks aesthetic. You have to compromise.
(Practical) Yeah, the whole fucking world is running on compromise. Why do you have to walk
differently?
(Liberal) Because it is the truth. There should not be any two ways about it.
(Practical) Let me tell you, there is no such thing as universal truth. Everything is a perception. And so is universal truth. And so is non-universal truth. Every fucking philosophy, every sentiment, every psychology is a perception.
(Rational) What about science? Is that a perception too?
(Extremist) Yes, ofcourse. Science is perception carried to its extreme. The whole science is built on axioms, things assumed to be true, thinks taken for granted. Untill 2 centuries back everyone was convinced that Sun revolved around Earth. Now you say its the opposite. Tomorrow, you will say that earth is not revolving. It is the push-pull phenomenon exhibited by this galaxy which creates this illussion. What will you do?
(Diplomat) Lets not take things out of context. There is no point in discussing what may or may not happen tomorrow. It is possible and impossible at the same time with equal odds.
(Actual) But why can not i talk about these problems? I want to. Society needs a precedent. Its
the Naman theory that is so true.
(Rational) WHat is Naman theory?
(Diplomat) Naman theory is a theory that is seen as the junction where universal truth theory and perception theory as discussed before meet each other. It satisfies both the worlds. It is hailed as the biggest theory in the world of diplomats.
(Practical) But what is it?
(Extremist) Does it satisfy the extremist ideologies as well?
(Actual) Yes, it does. It is not as big as it sounds. It is very simple. According to Naman's theory, people will think mediocre as long as they see mediocrity. You need to look beyond mediocrity to appreciate the cult. For example, consider music. People listen to the current pop music and think it is very good. What they dont listen to is classical music and hence are not exposed to the higher order bits of music. Thus they cant appreciate it and thus mediocre music becomes the best music. Naman theory also explains why super heros have such a following.
They show the mediocrity in other people and hence show that world is beyond what you percieve. It tells that all that society needs is a precedent. Someone to follow. Otherwise they will remain in a state of intertia. When the world was born, when shastras and vedas were written, there was the state of academics and learned. But now is the state of mediocrity. Future may be more dismal. Essentially Naman theory tells the perception of current state and tell how it can be changed. So it changes the perception of people and leads them to universal truth.
(Liberal) which is?
(Actual) The universal truth is that what perception you have, there is a perception to oppose
that and another perception to support that.
(Diplomat) I love this theory.
(Rational) But there is a contradiction somewhere. You see, diplomats are unequivocal about this theory which is against their characteristic. There lies a contradiction.
(Diplomat) No my friend. There lies the beauty. Naman theory supports and negates the characteristic of the diplomat at the same time. It is a higher order recursion. Beautiful, isnt it?
Voices
Characters:
(1)Actual
(2)Practical
(3)Diplomat
(4)Extremist
(5)Liberal.
(6)Rational
(Actual)I want to make an adult movie.
(Practical)What? You want to make a movie with sex and porn in it?
(Actual)No, that's not what i meant. I want to make a movie for mature audience. People achieve maturity when they become adult.
(Extremist) Then, you do not know children these days. They are more mature than adults. Have you not heard the DPS scandal etc?
(Liberal) I disagree completely. You should not be divisive using age as a parameter. Truth in any form should not be covered. Let the children see and accept the reality.
(Practical) Dude, have you gone crazy? You will be blown up even before you begin your casting.
(Extremist) Yeah, RSS, VHP, hindu fundamentalist, Muslim extremist, Bengali feminists and Delhi activists, they all will plot to kill you, your effigies will be burnt. Even if you are successful in making the movie, your movie will never see the light of the day.
(Liberal) What the fuck? Everyone has the freedom of expression. It is our right. One should not fear these extremist.
(Practical) (Laughing. Laughing continues)
(Liberal) Have i made a joke here? It is people like you who in your craving for security has allowed such bloody extremists to inject fear in us. It is people like you.....
(Rational) Okay, okay. So what is going to be in the movie? What is the premise?
(Actual) Thank you for allowing me to speak. It is just a movie talking about problems faced by adults like their stress life, old age, and ofcourse sex is an integral part of it.
(Practical) Yeah, no problem is bigger than the fucking sex problems of adult life.
(Rational) What do you think ? (pointing towards diplomat)
(Diplomat) I agree and disagree at the same time. I think it is a great premise but the society is not ready to see such a thing.
(Extremist) Why cant you focus on problems that are not sexual in nature?
(Liberal) Sniggers. Hypocrit, Bloody hypocrit.
(Actual) hmmm, so i need your consent before i choose. Okay. Other topics include atheism, religious fundamentalism, futility of war etc. Will you be able to digest that?
(Liberal) If you go by their terms, all that will be left is a dream.
(Practical) And if you do not then all that will be left is your ashes.
(Rational) Oh, come on, we are going around in circles. There has to be a way out. Diplomat, suggest a way out.
(Diplomat) Me? I say yes and no at the same time. Make a movie but give a spin off to these
topics so that it looks aesthetic. You have to compromise.
(Practical) Yeah, the whole fucking world is running on compromise. Why do you have to walk
differently?
(Liberal) Because it is the truth. There should not be any two ways about it.
(Practical) Let me tell you, there is no such thing as universal truth. Everything is a perception. And so is universal truth. And so is non-universal truth. Every fucking philosophy, every sentiment, every psychology is a perception.
(Rational) What about science? Is that a perception too?
(Extremist) Yes, ofcourse. Science is perception carried to its extreme. The whole science is built on axioms, things assumed to be true, thinks taken for granted. Untill 2 centuries back everyone was convinced that Sun revolved around Earth. Now you say its the opposite. Tomorrow, you will say that earth is not revolving. It is the push-pull phenomenon exhibited by this galaxy which creates this illussion. What will you do?
(Diplomat) Lets not take things out of context. There is no point in discussing what may or may not happen tomorrow. It is possible and impossible at the same time with equal odds.
(Actual) But why can not i talk about these problems? I want to. Society needs a precedent. Its
the Naman theory that is so true.
(Rational) WHat is Naman theory?
(Diplomat) Naman theory is a theory that is seen as the junction where universal truth theory and perception theory as discussed before meet each other. It satisfies both the worlds. It is hailed as the biggest theory in the world of diplomats.
(Practical) But what is it?
(Extremist) Does it satisfy the extremist ideologies as well?
(Actual) Yes, it does. It is not as big as it sounds. It is very simple. According to Naman's theory, people will think mediocre as long as they see mediocrity. You need to look beyond mediocrity to appreciate the cult. For example, consider music. People listen to the current pop music and think it is very good. What they dont listen to is classical music and hence are not exposed to the higher order bits of music. Thus they cant appreciate it and thus mediocre music becomes the best music. Naman theory also explains why super heros have such a following.
They show the mediocrity in other people and hence show that world is beyond what you percieve. It tells that all that society needs is a precedent. Someone to follow. Otherwise they will remain in a state of intertia. When the world was born, when shastras and vedas were written, there was the state of academics and learned. But now is the state of mediocrity. Future may be more dismal. Essentially Naman theory tells the perception of current state and tell how it can be changed. So it changes the perception of people and leads them to universal truth.
(Liberal) which is?
(Actual) The universal truth is that what perception you have, there is a perception to oppose
that and another perception to support that.
(Diplomat) I love this theory.
(Rational) But there is a contradiction somewhere. You see, diplomats are unequivocal about this theory which is against their characteristic. There lies a contradiction.
(Diplomat) No my friend. There lies the beauty. Naman theory supports and negates the characteristic of the diplomat at the same time. It is a higher order recursion. Beautiful, isnt it?
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Chapter 8
Today, Mr. Naman is upset. He is upset because of a secret. It is a secret because no one else knows about it. Sitting on his writing table wearing a pensive face, he is staring at his alarm clock. Why is he upset? His parents realize that he is upset but they also like us can not deduce "the why part".
It is not because Mr. Naman's mother gave his favorite chocolate bar to their neighbors' son yesterday. Mr. Naman had kept that bar to eat on a special occasion like when their neighbor's son leaves. Although, he was sad of loosing his chocolate bar but it was compensated by the irony of the event which made him surprisingly cheerful.
It is also not because yesterday, Mr. Naman's boss, the editor of local daily laughed at Mr. Naman's story which according to Mr. Naman was a serious drama. That did upset him but it lasted until he was in the editor's room. The moment he came out, he realized that his story was getting published and he had money in his pocket. Although Mr. Naman neither cared about his editor nor about the money, but still if one made him upset the other calmed him.
As far as distances are concerned, miles and kilometers are not the only metrics to measure them. Distances exist in relationships, between friends, and sometimes in Mr. Naman's writings as well. But talking about distances in relationships, Mr. Naman's closest friend, his love, his only love; she also hasn't said anything to make Mr. Naman upset. And at the other end (may be infinity?), it was also not because his father's distant relative, Mr. Naman's grandmother's 2nd cousin's sister, who had died peacefully in her sleep last night disturbed Mr. Naman. He barely even knew her.
Mr. Naman is also not going through a writer's block. He writes as freely as ever and his ideas are coming as fluent as water falls from a waterfall on a river which has recently been flooded. It is also not a health issue as no one has ever felt ill in the city of Ugar. After all, living at the foot hills of mountains, in a pollution free environment, how can any one get ill.
There can be a million reasons for Mr. Naman to be upset but none of them applies to Mr. Naman. He is also not upset for not being upset because of those one million reasons. There is a one million and oneth reason that exists and that has made Mr. Naman upset. And that reason is you..
You have read 6 paragraphs, 434 words, 2361 characters, and still continue to do so to know why a man is upset and what all things are not the reasons for him not being upset. Don't you have anything else to do? "Are you all like me", wonders Mr. Naman. And at the same time there is a person, whom you know is upset but still didn't care to ask him, or do something about it. Think about it!
It is not because Mr. Naman's mother gave his favorite chocolate bar to their neighbors' son yesterday. Mr. Naman had kept that bar to eat on a special occasion like when their neighbor's son leaves. Although, he was sad of loosing his chocolate bar but it was compensated by the irony of the event which made him surprisingly cheerful.
It is also not because yesterday, Mr. Naman's boss, the editor of local daily laughed at Mr. Naman's story which according to Mr. Naman was a serious drama. That did upset him but it lasted until he was in the editor's room. The moment he came out, he realized that his story was getting published and he had money in his pocket. Although Mr. Naman neither cared about his editor nor about the money, but still if one made him upset the other calmed him.
As far as distances are concerned, miles and kilometers are not the only metrics to measure them. Distances exist in relationships, between friends, and sometimes in Mr. Naman's writings as well. But talking about distances in relationships, Mr. Naman's closest friend, his love, his only love; she also hasn't said anything to make Mr. Naman upset. And at the other end (may be infinity?), it was also not because his father's distant relative, Mr. Naman's grandmother's 2nd cousin's sister, who had died peacefully in her sleep last night disturbed Mr. Naman. He barely even knew her.
Mr. Naman is also not going through a writer's block. He writes as freely as ever and his ideas are coming as fluent as water falls from a waterfall on a river which has recently been flooded. It is also not a health issue as no one has ever felt ill in the city of Ugar. After all, living at the foot hills of mountains, in a pollution free environment, how can any one get ill.
There can be a million reasons for Mr. Naman to be upset but none of them applies to Mr. Naman. He is also not upset for not being upset because of those one million reasons. There is a one million and oneth reason that exists and that has made Mr. Naman upset. And that reason is you..
You have read 6 paragraphs, 434 words, 2361 characters, and still continue to do so to know why a man is upset and what all things are not the reasons for him not being upset. Don't you have anything else to do? "Are you all like me", wonders Mr. Naman. And at the same time there is a person, whom you know is upset but still didn't care to ask him, or do something about it. Think about it!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Chapter 7
Woh aaein hamaray ghar mein khuda ki kudrat hai,
Kabhi hum unko aur kabhi hum apnay ghar ko daikhtay hain.
The above is a Sher by Ghalib. Its translation is as follows: It is a miracle that he came in our house. In disbelief, sometimes we stare at him and sometimes we stare at our house to ensure that it is for real.
Mr. Naman is a poet and like every poet a big fan of Mirza Ghalib but today he was reflecting upon this sher repeatedly. Lets find out why?
Mr. Naman's father's younger brother's family is visiting them these days. Mr. Naman's uncle has a jolly, good looking wife and two children - a boy of 12 and a girl of 10. It is a ritual in Mr. Naman's house that any guests should see natural beauty of Ugar and other local attractions. After two days of sight-seeing the adults were tired and wanted to rest for the day. But the children wanted to visit the nearby zoo and so it came down upon Mr. Naman to take them out today. When he was leaving home, Mr. Naman's father called him and said "Make sure they have a good time today." Although Mr. Naman is an adult and a responsible adult too but his parents always wanted to ensure that he is sent with appropriate instructions. They always were worried that Naman may get lost in his train of thoughts and forget the task at hand. Mr. Naman was now accustomed to hearing such quotidian things and used to nod to make his parents happy. Initially he did protested by saying that he is no more a child but because of that incident once, he had no say anymore.What that incident was, thats another story.
Mr. Naman did not liked the concept of zoo. Since they used to live so close to actual tropical rain forests, his idea for watching wild animals was to go into the jungle. On reaching there, Mr. Naman was startled to see that there was a queue of people at the entrance. And the number of adults were more than number of children. "What pleasure can they derive by watching animals living in a cave"? murmured Mr. Naman to himself. His only motivation to take this ordeal was the look on the faces of his nephew and niece. Child enthusiasm and innocence is unparalleled in this world and if it can melt stones then surely it can force Mr. Naman to see the zoo.
In order to go through the ordeal, Mr. Naman used to invent psychological games and today's zoo game was to look at each animal and tell whether he is smiling or not. Firstly, Mr. Naman himself was not sure whether animals understood such an emotion and even if they did, is widening of lips the only way to display it. He started with monkeys, after all they are the closest to human kind but they were so busy in collecting peanuts from visitors that it was difficult to judge their expression. Perhaps Mr. Naman thought that after some visitor gives them a peanut, they will show their gratitude by smiling but it was too high of an expectation.
Mr. Naman also bought a pack of peanuts and tried to play with the monkeys. Having made an eye contact with one monkey, Mr. Naman in a gesture of giving him a peanut, he threw the peanut in air but only to land in his own mouth. This clearly brought smiles on his nephews but clearly the monkey was not happy at all and gave one scornful look. Mr. Naman concluded that monkeys do exhibit anger though smiling emotion is still a mystery.
Continuing on, Mr. Naman then visited the cages of several other animals Mr. Naman and kids finally came to the cage of tiger. Tiger, one of the endangered species was clearly one of the main attractions of this zoo and many people stocked to catch a glimpse of it. The tiger there was one of the most mysterious animals at the zoo. He used to remain in a confused state of mind. He used to stare at people at some time and then turned back to look at his so-called cave. It was by looking at this scene, Mr. Naman remembered the Ghalib sher mentioned before and he wondered loudly - "How apt yet how ironic!".
Now the question that has been resounding in Mr. Naman's mind after he had visited the tiger's cave and now on his way back to home is - under what circumstances Ghalib could have written that couplet. Could it be that Ghalib also realized this couplet while visiting zoo? Is it possible. What are the odds? If you know the answer, you can telecommunicate to Mr. Naman.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Chapter 6
Tomorrow is Holi - the festival of colors and today was Choti Holi. Let me first explain the concept of holi . In Choti(small) holi, people in a community gather around a huge pile of wood and make fire and eat snacks. Main holi is played with colors wherein people go to everyone's house, exchange colors and eat sweets. There are many mythological reasons behind this rituals but they are not important here. The concept of Holi -both choti holi and the main one are not very much appreciated by Mr. Naman. And by not appreciated, Mr. Naman dislikes them very much. At the eve before main holi Mr. Naman takes a heavy dinner, buys juices, fruits and chips and locks himself in a room. The room obviously contains either a book or a tv.
Such was not the case when Mr. Naman was a child. As a child, Mr. Naman used to organize these festivals with great care and attention. He used to organize small holi assuming a leadership role. He with his friends used to gather wood, collect money from the neighborhood to buy sweets, and snacks, assemble wood to make the fire. But all this was nothing compared to Mr. Naman's excitement for the main holi.
For the main event, Mr. Naman's preparation used to start 2 weeks in advance. He was very careful in picking up pichkari. He used to pay detailed attention to the new models available in the market carefully examining the advancements in design and technologies. Believe me, to Mr. Naman, holi was nothing less than a war of colors, everyone should be colored - that was his goal and pichkari was his weapon. The weapon that holds maximum ammunition was chosen. Therefore, he always ended up purchasing the simple bottle to hold water one as it stored maximum amount of water. Water balloons were like the grenade bombs, very effective but he rarely gave attention to them because they were cumbersome to make. But on every sight of someone else's made ballo0ns, he was quick to grab them. Colors that are used to dissolve in water were always chosen to be as strong as possible for maximum and long lasting effects.
As the saying goes - Everything is fair in war, Mr. Naman rarely hesitated to color anyone even when he was not playing like his mother in kitchen or the morning milkman or any person walking in front of his home. As a result of above, once he was chased by an young man who lifted Mr. Naman and threw him in tank full of water. In another instance his mother did not gave him the gujiyas (holi sweets) because he had colored the kitchen walls. Mr. Naman claimed that it is not fair as these sweets are made once a year but no bit of rationalization was possible.
Mr. Naman then realized that the saying is incomplete. In his opinion, it should be modified to - Everything is fair in war but so are the repercussions.
Just like in war, soldiers wear a standard uniform made to suit their interests, Mr. Naman also made a design of a jacket fitted with pichkaris with carefully designed pockets for colors, remote controlled triggers and what not. He often used to imagine himself wearing that uniform and used to call himself Holiman (in spirit of superman, spiderman etc). Such was the dream world of Mr. Naman.
So why does Mr. Naman does not play Holi anymore? One thing that Mr. Naman didnt like on the holi day was the extensive bath that he had to take to get rid of the colors. To him, these were the injuries of war and bathing was like an operation to cover the wounds and indeed it was painful to him. Slowly and slowly, bathing became a more painful event than playing colors and thus he stopped playing holi. But he still understands the mentality of the children in his community who are waiting for any opportunity to color him. He has heard that there are even bets going on who will be the first one to color him and several soldiers have taken it on them as the mission of this year's holi. So to avoid them this luxury, he locks himself in a room and waits for the festival to get over.
Such was not the case when Mr. Naman was a child. As a child, Mr. Naman used to organize these festivals with great care and attention. He used to organize small holi assuming a leadership role. He with his friends used to gather wood, collect money from the neighborhood to buy sweets, and snacks, assemble wood to make the fire. But all this was nothing compared to Mr. Naman's excitement for the main holi.
For the main event, Mr. Naman's preparation used to start 2 weeks in advance. He was very careful in picking up pichkari. He used to pay detailed attention to the new models available in the market carefully examining the advancements in design and technologies. Believe me, to Mr. Naman, holi was nothing less than a war of colors, everyone should be colored - that was his goal and pichkari was his weapon. The weapon that holds maximum ammunition was chosen. Therefore, he always ended up purchasing the simple bottle to hold water one as it stored maximum amount of water. Water balloons were like the grenade bombs, very effective but he rarely gave attention to them because they were cumbersome to make. But on every sight of someone else's made ballo0ns, he was quick to grab them. Colors that are used to dissolve in water were always chosen to be as strong as possible for maximum and long lasting effects.
As the saying goes - Everything is fair in war, Mr. Naman rarely hesitated to color anyone even when he was not playing like his mother in kitchen or the morning milkman or any person walking in front of his home. As a result of above, once he was chased by an young man who lifted Mr. Naman and threw him in tank full of water. In another instance his mother did not gave him the gujiyas (holi sweets) because he had colored the kitchen walls. Mr. Naman claimed that it is not fair as these sweets are made once a year but no bit of rationalization was possible.
Mr. Naman then realized that the saying is incomplete. In his opinion, it should be modified to - Everything is fair in war but so are the repercussions.
Just like in war, soldiers wear a standard uniform made to suit their interests, Mr. Naman also made a design of a jacket fitted with pichkaris with carefully designed pockets for colors, remote controlled triggers and what not. He often used to imagine himself wearing that uniform and used to call himself Holiman (in spirit of superman, spiderman etc). Such was the dream world of Mr. Naman.
So why does Mr. Naman does not play Holi anymore? One thing that Mr. Naman didnt like on the holi day was the extensive bath that he had to take to get rid of the colors. To him, these were the injuries of war and bathing was like an operation to cover the wounds and indeed it was painful to him. Slowly and slowly, bathing became a more painful event than playing colors and thus he stopped playing holi. But he still understands the mentality of the children in his community who are waiting for any opportunity to color him. He has heard that there are even bets going on who will be the first one to color him and several soldiers have taken it on them as the mission of this year's holi. So to avoid them this luxury, he locks himself in a room and waits for the festival to get over.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Chater 5
About 2-3 years ago, Mr. Naman submitted to his father's wishes of getting a normal job and began the interview cycle. One of the typical interview questions asked to him was : Where do you see yourself 5 years from now? This question just baffled Mr. Naman as he didnt knew the answer. For the first 7 interviews he tried the "I frankly dont know" answer to which he got a raised eyebrow, lips down, "silent huh" reaction and quickly followed by - "well thank you for your time. We will let you know of our decision soon" and mostly in the next day, sometimes that evening only he got a reject.
Mr. Naman could never have understood the rationale behind this question. It was not that he did not knew the trivial answer but he did not wanted to lie for some job that he never wanted in the first place. So followed Mr. Naman's experiments with the interviewer. Some of his attempts were:
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
Mr. Naman: I dont know, why dont you tell me where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
And now followed the case analysis:
Case 1 - Interviewer: (Blank face), stammers something
Mr. Naman: See! Do you get it now? Do you agree that it was a dumb question?
Case 2 - Interviewer: The trivial BS!
Mr. Naman: Good for you. I do not have such concise clairvoyance.
but if Mr. Naman is not impressed, he goes like
Case 3-
Mr. Naman: So you think that you know everything about your life. Huh? You have got it all planned out. Huh? Have you considered the contingency situations? What if your wife discovers your affair with the pretty secretary sitting outside? Or what if your mother sends her awful homemade laddoos to your boss? Have you thought about that? You think that because you wear a tie, because you polish your shoes, everybody should do that.
Interviewer: What is this?
Mr. Naman: I am not finished yet.
And then to show the irony of the situation, he walks out.
When he had heard all the different answers to the above cases, he decided to increase the level of fun. In his next interview, he answered this question as
Mr. Naman: I want to be the person sitting above you in the hierarchy of the organization. Is it possible.
The above answered once backfired when Mr. Naman interviewed for a really small company and the interviewer said that he was the CEO of this company. This was unexpected by Mr. Naman and so he replied by - " So what, even Steve Jobs was fired."
Mr. Naman could never have understood the rationale behind this question. It was not that he did not knew the trivial answer but he did not wanted to lie for some job that he never wanted in the first place. So followed Mr. Naman's experiments with the interviewer. Some of his attempts were:
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
Mr. Naman: I dont know, why dont you tell me where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
And now followed the case analysis:
Case 1 - Interviewer: (Blank face), stammers something
Mr. Naman: See! Do you get it now? Do you agree that it was a dumb question?
Case 2 - Interviewer: The trivial BS!
Mr. Naman: Good for you. I do not have such concise clairvoyance.
but if Mr. Naman is not impressed, he goes like
Case 3-
Mr. Naman: So you think that you know everything about your life. Huh? You have got it all planned out. Huh? Have you considered the contingency situations? What if your wife discovers your affair with the pretty secretary sitting outside? Or what if your mother sends her awful homemade laddoos to your boss? Have you thought about that? You think that because you wear a tie, because you polish your shoes, everybody should do that.
Interviewer: What is this?
Mr. Naman: I am not finished yet.
And then to show the irony of the situation, he walks out.
When he had heard all the different answers to the above cases, he decided to increase the level of fun. In his next interview, he answered this question as
Mr. Naman: I want to be the person sitting above you in the hierarchy of the organization. Is it possible.
The above answered once backfired when Mr. Naman interviewed for a really small company and the interviewer said that he was the CEO of this company. This was unexpected by Mr. Naman and so he replied by - " So what, even Steve Jobs was fired."
Friday, March 7, 2008
Chapter 4
Mr. Naman today is humming a song; a song whose name he cant remember, whose lyrics he can't remember. All he remembers is the tune and it goes something like this: teh teh tehhhh the tehnnn, th th th theeeeennnnn
And with this bare piece of information, his objective for today is to reconstruct the whole song. He has planned his schedule to focus on each syllable of tune for 15 minutes. If that does not work, he intends to remember all the songs that he has listened to in the past 4 months, and in the process memorize them to avoid such future incidents like today. And finally, if he is still unsuccessful, he will write his own lyrics matching the tune, name the song himself and an extremist in him wants him to go ahead and publish this song.
In order to accomplish his mission, he has positioned himslef in an aasaan that is most fruitful for such occasions. He is lying on his favorite sofa with head resting on sofa's one sidearm and legs hanging on the other sidearm. He had not bathed in morning and had eaten a heavy breakfast, so the conditions are optimal for him to concentrate and not move for a long time. He is gazing at the ceiling and his powers of concentration are so acute that the spiders above him are planning to file an eve-teasing suite against him.
One doesnt know this but Mr. Naman by his rigorous tapas (after all he was sitting in a yogic aasana) has realized that there are always two versions of a song for each person. The first version is the true version which is the one captured by brain upon listening the song and stored in memory. The second version is what the mouth utters (aka sings). This version varies from person to person to person and in most cases differs distinctly from the original one. To circumvent this differences in versions, mankind has invented an innovative technique known as Bathroom Singing. But mankind is cleverer than it seems. More astute human(strikethrough) beings realized that people are interested in listening to these difference and hence have marketed this simple phenomenon in a form that we commonly know as Indian Idol or American Idol. "How clever of them!" says Mr. Naman.
Having stumbled across this observation, Mr. Naman has changed his plans and now he is going to devote more time in listening to already listened songs to identify this tune. He has also realized that such a gargantuan task can not be accomplished in a day. And with this plan he has consented to the idea of meditating further in his aasana (read sleep) until his mother or the housemaid stops him from becoming a sanyasin.
And with this bare piece of information, his objective for today is to reconstruct the whole song. He has planned his schedule to focus on each syllable of tune for 15 minutes. If that does not work, he intends to remember all the songs that he has listened to in the past 4 months, and in the process memorize them to avoid such future incidents like today. And finally, if he is still unsuccessful, he will write his own lyrics matching the tune, name the song himself and an extremist in him wants him to go ahead and publish this song.
In order to accomplish his mission, he has positioned himslef in an aasaan that is most fruitful for such occasions. He is lying on his favorite sofa with head resting on sofa's one sidearm and legs hanging on the other sidearm. He had not bathed in morning and had eaten a heavy breakfast, so the conditions are optimal for him to concentrate and not move for a long time. He is gazing at the ceiling and his powers of concentration are so acute that the spiders above him are planning to file an eve-teasing suite against him.
One doesnt know this but Mr. Naman by his rigorous tapas (after all he was sitting in a yogic aasana) has realized that there are always two versions of a song for each person. The first version is the true version which is the one captured by brain upon listening the song and stored in memory. The second version is what the mouth utters (aka sings). This version varies from person to person to person and in most cases differs distinctly from the original one. To circumvent this differences in versions, mankind has invented an innovative technique known as Bathroom Singing. But mankind is cleverer than it seems. More astute human(strikethrough) beings realized that people are interested in listening to these difference and hence have marketed this simple phenomenon in a form that we commonly know as Indian Idol or American Idol. "How clever of them!" says Mr. Naman.
Having stumbled across this observation, Mr. Naman has changed his plans and now he is going to devote more time in listening to already listened songs to identify this tune. He has also realized that such a gargantuan task can not be accomplished in a day. And with this plan he has consented to the idea of meditating further in his aasana (read sleep) until his mother or the housemaid stops him from becoming a sanyasin.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Chapter 3
Today Mr. Naman came this close to knowing it all.
Earlier today morning, on his mother's insistence, Mr. Naman had gone to the nearby market to get something. He can not remember that something now, infact he can not remember most-things now. It was a bright sunny weather- sunny weather that doesnt makes you sweat but just makes your face glow. It had always amazed Mr. Naman how the Sun is able to vary its intensity everyday and multiple times in a day too. He had assumed that the answer must be due to the chemical reactions going inside the Sun. Apparently, Sun does not have much control on the reaction - it is just a apparatus tool and not any chemical catalyst. Anyways, this was not the question that absorbed Naman this morning.
He had reached the market and was making his way through the swarm of people gathered in a market to reach the appropriate shop. Gleaming Sun made him feel confident and full of energy. Dressed in a plain t-shirt, whose color now was merely a reminder that it was white in its hay-days, and black paijama whose length was exactly in between the length worn by prisoners and length of his leg, this attire was Mr. Naman's favourite but in no way adhered to the implicit understated dress code of market.
It all happened when he passed through the clocks shop. He quickly observed that the big clock hanged outside to attract customers was showing the correct time even though it was not working. In the next flash of second, his mind shouted within him - "Even a stopped clock shows correct time twice a day". His first reactions(in sequential order are) were - wow! , is it true?, how is it possible?, eh?, oh!, aah!, oho!, aha!, wow!. And suddenly he realized that he has stumbled upon some information of valuable depth. How can something which is not working at all can serve its purpose even for an instant.
His legs froze. His eyes froze. He head was bent at 62degree downwards than the horizontal and his eyes were staring at the bottom of a pole anchored on the ground standing perfectly upright.
He was thinking fast, pushing his minds in all directions to rationale his profound observation. He was searching for answers but the question was still not clear. He was certain that it was not that question whose answer is 42. Mr. Naman was sure that he has solved one half of the problem - the how part, now only thing that was required was to solve the other half - the when part. He just had to know now when does these stopped clocks will give the correct time.
He kept on staring at the pole, looking at the point at which it meets the ground. He was amused - how come less than 10% of the pole was below the ground but still it was able to support itself. Something told him that somehow clocks were connected to all this. Suddenly he realized that today was a leap day. What a strange coincidence it has been. Clocks and leap day. He started thinking about the concepts of years and months. What would have changed if we had no months, just day1,day2,day3, all the way up to day 365. It would be so easy. He couldnt help but contemplate - why would anyone make such an arbitrary calendar plan. Some months having 30 days, some having 31 days. What happened to the concepts of harmony, uniformity and balance.
But these were just passing thoughts in his mind. He was involved with the bigger question - how can he determine by looking at a not working clock and tell that whether it is showing a correct time or not. The more he thought, the more he stared and the more he stared the more he thought. Somehow that pole was trying to tell him something. And he felt it. His countenance began to change, lines on his forehead were changing from a convex mirror to concave mirror like shapes. His doubts were clearing away. Starting at the pole bottom became some sort of meditation. He was gaining knowledge. He began to smile.
He began to realize that this was the moment of enlightenment that he used to read in books. Hairs on his arms and legs stood up as if they were some antenna. He was falling into an abyss - an abyss that began at the bottom of a pole standing erect on the ground. He was this close to knowing it all. He was there - he could feel it. But just when the most crucial information was to be transferred, a guy walking on the sidewalk at which Mr. Naman was standing nudged him and that broke his concentration. His glance swayed from the pole to 1 feet right of it and that was all that was needed to break the circuit.
At first, Mr. Naman was puzzled, unable to fathom that he had missed it all because some guy had nudged him at a market sidewalk. How unusual was it - how is it possible. He turned around to look back, to look at the clock and to his horror the clock was working. He looked at his wrist watch and that was also working showing the same time. And then another person nudged him as he was standing at the middle of a crowded market sidewalk. All his ideas were shattered in an instant. Disturbed, exhausted by all the confusion, he decided to walk back home without buying what his mother had asked of him.
Earlier today morning, on his mother's insistence, Mr. Naman had gone to the nearby market to get something. He can not remember that something now, infact he can not remember most-things now. It was a bright sunny weather- sunny weather that doesnt makes you sweat but just makes your face glow. It had always amazed Mr. Naman how the Sun is able to vary its intensity everyday and multiple times in a day too. He had assumed that the answer must be due to the chemical reactions going inside the Sun. Apparently, Sun does not have much control on the reaction - it is just a apparatus tool and not any chemical catalyst. Anyways, this was not the question that absorbed Naman this morning.
He had reached the market and was making his way through the swarm of people gathered in a market to reach the appropriate shop. Gleaming Sun made him feel confident and full of energy. Dressed in a plain t-shirt, whose color now was merely a reminder that it was white in its hay-days, and black paijama whose length was exactly in between the length worn by prisoners and length of his leg, this attire was Mr. Naman's favourite but in no way adhered to the implicit understated dress code of market.
It all happened when he passed through the clocks shop. He quickly observed that the big clock hanged outside to attract customers was showing the correct time even though it was not working. In the next flash of second, his mind shouted within him - "Even a stopped clock shows correct time twice a day". His first reactions(in sequential order are) were - wow! , is it true?, how is it possible?, eh?, oh!, aah!, oho!, aha!, wow!. And suddenly he realized that he has stumbled upon some information of valuable depth. How can something which is not working at all can serve its purpose even for an instant.
His legs froze. His eyes froze. He head was bent at 62degree downwards than the horizontal and his eyes were staring at the bottom of a pole anchored on the ground standing perfectly upright.
He was thinking fast, pushing his minds in all directions to rationale his profound observation. He was searching for answers but the question was still not clear. He was certain that it was not that question whose answer is 42. Mr. Naman was sure that he has solved one half of the problem - the how part, now only thing that was required was to solve the other half - the when part. He just had to know now when does these stopped clocks will give the correct time.
He kept on staring at the pole, looking at the point at which it meets the ground. He was amused - how come less than 10% of the pole was below the ground but still it was able to support itself. Something told him that somehow clocks were connected to all this. Suddenly he realized that today was a leap day. What a strange coincidence it has been. Clocks and leap day. He started thinking about the concepts of years and months. What would have changed if we had no months, just day1,day2,day3, all the way up to day 365. It would be so easy. He couldnt help but contemplate - why would anyone make such an arbitrary calendar plan. Some months having 30 days, some having 31 days. What happened to the concepts of harmony, uniformity and balance.
But these were just passing thoughts in his mind. He was involved with the bigger question - how can he determine by looking at a not working clock and tell that whether it is showing a correct time or not. The more he thought, the more he stared and the more he stared the more he thought. Somehow that pole was trying to tell him something. And he felt it. His countenance began to change, lines on his forehead were changing from a convex mirror to concave mirror like shapes. His doubts were clearing away. Starting at the pole bottom became some sort of meditation. He was gaining knowledge. He began to smile.
He began to realize that this was the moment of enlightenment that he used to read in books. Hairs on his arms and legs stood up as if they were some antenna. He was falling into an abyss - an abyss that began at the bottom of a pole standing erect on the ground. He was this close to knowing it all. He was there - he could feel it. But just when the most crucial information was to be transferred, a guy walking on the sidewalk at which Mr. Naman was standing nudged him and that broke his concentration. His glance swayed from the pole to 1 feet right of it and that was all that was needed to break the circuit.
At first, Mr. Naman was puzzled, unable to fathom that he had missed it all because some guy had nudged him at a market sidewalk. How unusual was it - how is it possible. He turned around to look back, to look at the clock and to his horror the clock was working. He looked at his wrist watch and that was also working showing the same time. And then another person nudged him as he was standing at the middle of a crowded market sidewalk. All his ideas were shattered in an instant. Disturbed, exhausted by all the confusion, he decided to walk back home without buying what his mother had asked of him.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Chapter 2
How does Mr. Naman look like? Mr. Naman decided to answer this question in his own words: " Well, to start with,I am thin, definitely thin. My height is 6". I have long head with no hair coming out of my nose, ears, or the region below my nose or area ranging from my mouth to ears down to neck. I should say that i keep myself clean. My finger nails are cut in a perfect semi-circular shape. My bodily features are made precisely by keeping the golden ratio in mind but there has been an exception in my case. Trust me, i have got all things measured by a tailor and his son who had learnt the use of vernier calipers. Typically the distance from head to hand's finger tips divide the height (head to toe) in golden ratio. But in my case, distance from the head to hand's finger tips is found to be shorter than the golden number. I am still trying to find out that whether its my hands that are shorter or is it my legs that have elongated out of proportion. I have 28 teeth, I had lost my wisdom teeth 2 years back. I think their role was over, they had imparted all the wisdom that they could offer and i have received all their knowledge."
One should not trust the words of Mr. Naman as one can not be sure whether Mr. Naman is talking about himself or the person that his thoughts tell him or the person he wants to be. Some say that his features are mixture of all the above. On asking about Mr. Naman from his mother, one always get the answer "To me, he is still a little boy, my boy, mama's boy!". Any further questions leads to analogies from Lord krishna tv serial.
One should not trust the words of Mr. Naman as one can not be sure whether Mr. Naman is talking about himself or the person that his thoughts tell him or the person he wants to be. Some say that his features are mixture of all the above. On asking about Mr. Naman from his mother, one always get the answer "To me, he is still a little boy, my boy, mama's boy!". Any further questions leads to analogies from Lord krishna tv serial.
Chapter 1
Mr. Naman Ugarwadi was a simple man, a man who believed in simple living and long thinking. Yes, indeed most of his time was spent in his thoughts and no one knew what he was thinking.
Mr Naman was born on 10th June 1975 in a small town Ugar near the foothills of Himalayas. His father, Mr. Raman Singh, was an interesting man who taught literature in the nearby Central school (Kendriya vidhyalaya). Mr. Raman was a self-content man who liked walking with a stick. The 10 minute walk from his house to school at 8 am in mornings and back to house at 4 pm in evenings were his best moments of everyday life. Walking with a stick reminded him of Charlie Chaplin, so he walked with a smile on his face. It also reminded him of old people who walk with sticks and it made him act more maturely than he would normally do. Mr. Naman's mother, Mrs. Kavita Singh, was a housewife. Confining herself to households, she was proud of her husband and his stick.
Mr. Naman was born as Mr. Naman Singh to which he later changed his name to Mr. Naman Ugarwadi. There are many rumors behind why the name Naman was chosen. Some say that Mr. Raman Singh wanted his son to have footprints of his name but he didn't like the idea of Mr. Raman Singh Junior. He was worried that whenever his wife would call Raman, he will answer the call. He further thought that similar names can also lead to confusion in identities and his wife can mistake him for her son. This may lead to consequences such as eating all vegetables, drinking milk everyday and more importantly his stick will be taken away from him. So he decided against Junior. Some say that Naman comes from Mr. Raman's respectful style of greeting everyone but many believe that Naman actually comes from Mr. Raman's fascination for palindromes. Mr. Raman has named his house - rahGhar (road-house). Palindrome is the only reason that Mr. Raman learned Malayalam, he had studied it hoping that the grammar of Malayalam was designed keeping palindromes in mind but later he was very disappointed. The real reason behind the name Naman still remains a mystery.
Mr. Naman changed his name from Naman Singh to Naman Ugarwadi at the age of 18 when he got lost. It is also a mystery whether Mr. Naman was physically lost or lost in his thoughts. Many believe its both. Mr. Naman aspired to be a poet and like all great poets, wanted to have a pen name based on the town that he lived. Others tell that Jackie the dog was the reason. Every evening at sharp 5:30 pm, Jackie the dog used to come in front of rahGhar and bark 3 howls and went away. No one knew from where this dog come from and where he went away. Mr. Naman, one day, decided that he will solve the mystery of this dog and hence decided to follow Jackie. But Jackie was no ordinary dog. Since his whereabouts were unknown, there were many who believed him to be god's messenger. Jackie's 3 howls were considered God's message and many local pundits were consulted to explain its meaning. Jackie took Mr. Naman in the outskirts of Ugar into the woods and vanished. Mr. Naman confused that how the dog has vanished relentlessly searched the forest and got lost in the process. He decided to spend the night under a tree. In the morning, he tried to walk back home and while coming back was mesmerized by the natural scenic beauty of the place. The beautiful valley, lush green surroundings, clean cool breeze, hills rising in front of him. Seeing all this he decided to name himself after the wadi (valley) of his town Ugar and hence coined the word Ugarwadi. Mr. Naman was well aware that Ugarwadi in hindi meant terrorist but he was unable to contain his respect for the wadis of Ugar and hence decided to go ahead with it.
That day, when Mr. Naman reached home back, he told his father "Papa, from now on I am an Ugarwadi". Mr. Raman,shocked, unable to grasp the real meaning for a moment had wished to hit his son with his stick but his love for the stick was greater than anything else. Later when Mr. Naman told him the real thing, he refused to accept it. First Mr. Naman made several attempts to convince his father to accept his name. He took examples of all the great poets - the Lakhnavis, the Ludhianavis, the Akbarabadis but they were of no use. Finally he told his father that he no more cared for his acceptance and he has made his decision final. Mr. Raman Singh since then used to call his son - Naman Ugarwadi as Na-Manu-Ugarwadi(dont believe that you are a terrorist).
This is the myth behind the name Naman Ugarwadi. Later we will know more about the person.
Mr Naman was born on 10th June 1975 in a small town Ugar near the foothills of Himalayas. His father, Mr. Raman Singh, was an interesting man who taught literature in the nearby Central school (Kendriya vidhyalaya). Mr. Raman was a self-content man who liked walking with a stick. The 10 minute walk from his house to school at 8 am in mornings and back to house at 4 pm in evenings were his best moments of everyday life. Walking with a stick reminded him of Charlie Chaplin, so he walked with a smile on his face. It also reminded him of old people who walk with sticks and it made him act more maturely than he would normally do. Mr. Naman's mother, Mrs. Kavita Singh, was a housewife. Confining herself to households, she was proud of her husband and his stick.
Mr. Naman was born as Mr. Naman Singh to which he later changed his name to Mr. Naman Ugarwadi. There are many rumors behind why the name Naman was chosen. Some say that Mr. Raman Singh wanted his son to have footprints of his name but he didn't like the idea of Mr. Raman Singh Junior. He was worried that whenever his wife would call Raman, he will answer the call. He further thought that similar names can also lead to confusion in identities and his wife can mistake him for her son. This may lead to consequences such as eating all vegetables, drinking milk everyday and more importantly his stick will be taken away from him. So he decided against Junior. Some say that Naman comes from Mr. Raman's respectful style of greeting everyone but many believe that Naman actually comes from Mr. Raman's fascination for palindromes. Mr. Raman has named his house - rahGhar (road-house). Palindrome is the only reason that Mr. Raman learned Malayalam, he had studied it hoping that the grammar of Malayalam was designed keeping palindromes in mind but later he was very disappointed. The real reason behind the name Naman still remains a mystery.
Mr. Naman changed his name from Naman Singh to Naman Ugarwadi at the age of 18 when he got lost. It is also a mystery whether Mr. Naman was physically lost or lost in his thoughts. Many believe its both. Mr. Naman aspired to be a poet and like all great poets, wanted to have a pen name based on the town that he lived. Others tell that Jackie the dog was the reason. Every evening at sharp 5:30 pm, Jackie the dog used to come in front of rahGhar and bark 3 howls and went away. No one knew from where this dog come from and where he went away. Mr. Naman, one day, decided that he will solve the mystery of this dog and hence decided to follow Jackie. But Jackie was no ordinary dog. Since his whereabouts were unknown, there were many who believed him to be god's messenger. Jackie's 3 howls were considered God's message and many local pundits were consulted to explain its meaning. Jackie took Mr. Naman in the outskirts of Ugar into the woods and vanished. Mr. Naman confused that how the dog has vanished relentlessly searched the forest and got lost in the process. He decided to spend the night under a tree. In the morning, he tried to walk back home and while coming back was mesmerized by the natural scenic beauty of the place. The beautiful valley, lush green surroundings, clean cool breeze, hills rising in front of him. Seeing all this he decided to name himself after the wadi (valley) of his town Ugar and hence coined the word Ugarwadi. Mr. Naman was well aware that Ugarwadi in hindi meant terrorist but he was unable to contain his respect for the wadis of Ugar and hence decided to go ahead with it.
That day, when Mr. Naman reached home back, he told his father "Papa, from now on I am an Ugarwadi". Mr. Raman,shocked, unable to grasp the real meaning for a moment had wished to hit his son with his stick but his love for the stick was greater than anything else. Later when Mr. Naman told him the real thing, he refused to accept it. First Mr. Naman made several attempts to convince his father to accept his name. He took examples of all the great poets - the Lakhnavis, the Ludhianavis, the Akbarabadis but they were of no use. Finally he told his father that he no more cared for his acceptance and he has made his decision final. Mr. Raman Singh since then used to call his son - Naman Ugarwadi as Na-Manu-Ugarwadi(dont believe that you are a terrorist).
This is the myth behind the name Naman Ugarwadi. Later we will know more about the person.
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