When Mr. Naman was a child, (yes, just to clarify the purists, Mr. Naman was a child once and he is not a child anymore), his parents had arranged for him to learn music. They were, from the day Mr. Naman turned 5 years and 45 days had known that their child will not become anything of any consequential importance to society. It is believed that such a thing came to Mr. Naman's mother in a dream and when she revealed this to Mr. Naman's father, he believed it even before she had said it.
So began her attempts to defy destiny and among her various attempts, one of them was music. She arranged a local musician to teach Mr. Naman music. This local guy was a harmonium player and a vocalist and was of the opinion that you cant do one without the another. So it began 3 days a week, the days of week chosen for such a blessed event were Monday, Wednesday and Friday. As when the clock strikes 8 pm on saturday, every child, every person in Ugar switches on the Doordarshan channel to watch the weekly movie, on these three days, all gods in all the three worlds abandon their work and dedicate all their attention to capture this event live.
Anyways, this local musician came the first day, with his harmonium and introduced himself. He got boy Naman's introduction and had general conversation explaining the way he will be conducting his tuition and what is expected of naman in his absence. All this conversation was being followed by boy Naman's mother with utmost attention. On his second day, he started with the basic practice,commonly known as riyaaz with he and Mr. Naman sitting in an isolated room.
Now this local musician teacher beside teaching music also was an astrologer by profession. He claimed to be an expert in palmistry and during the third day, he could not resist merging both of his professions and asked Mr. Naman to show his hand so that he can read it. That was it! His eyes could not believe it. His face was glowing, his heart was full of emotion. Was it joy, one can not be sure about such two-faced emotions.
He urgently called boy Naman's mother and broke the news to her. "Madamji, your son, this boy here, i have read his hand and he has a very bright future, super bright future. He is going to become a very big singer. Fame will come to him. His name will be as known as Lata Mangheskar or as Kishore Kumar. His voice is going to be immortal."
Boy Naman's mother who had heard of this guy's astrology skills was very happy, she believed him instantaneously. She knew that her prayers will be answered. It was all happening for her. Boy Naman was also very excited because he had surely heard of Kishore Kumar and liked his music. Overall, the atmosphere in the house can be compared to the atmosphere of a class whose professor has just announced that due to some unavoidable circumstances he will not be taking lectures the next week. In other words it is known as "nirmal anand" or pure bliss.
And so the weekend passed with great anxiety. In those days, every woman who lived at a two stone's throw of Naman's house had heard this news. And now dont think that boy Naman's mother was throwing stones at other's homes.
Time passed as it usually does and then came the next Monday, the day of the next class and the clock struck 5 pm but the musician was not there. Slowly, slowly the clock struck 6 and the musician had still not arrived. "May be he was not well today" though the mother and waited for Wednesday. But same story was repeated on Wednesday and Friday. After probing for the musician's whereabouts it was revealed that due to some financial problems he has run away after taking the month's advance fees from all his clients.
And upon hearing this news, needless to say, Naman's parents were crushed but for some reason boy Naman was happy. And that was the end of Mr. Naman's musical career. Deep down, Mr. Naman's mother still carries a thought that there is still time and may be his prediction will come true. Mr. Naman on the other hand is glad and when anyone compares his voice to a crow, his answer is simple - Do not judge me now, it is predicted that i have the potentital to be the next Kishore Kumar.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Chapter 10
Today Mr. Naman has been his usual self for the whole day. This is indeed unusual. When Mr. Naman is spending the day in his usual self, even a school boy enjoying his summer break, doing nothing except just watching the day pass, feels an emotion called envy when he hears Mr. Naman's break up for the day.
He had not taken his bath for the whole day. Mr. Naman is of the opinion that people bathe because they fell dirty either from inside or outside. Mr. Naman has never experienced such a feeling except when someone else has told him. He had spent the entire morning writing something on his bed and when it came for lunch, he was successful in avoiding eating it on the dining table.
As a bird grips a branch of a tree and starts to enjoy its food amidst clean air and natural tree shade, Mr. Naman today experienced similar joy. He (re)arranged his living room's architecture by dragging a stool near the sofa, then he sat on the sofa, spread his legs on that stool and ate his lunch while watching television and most importantly, without any interruption.
Just like a musician in his riyaas(practice) can go on and on if not interrupted, just like a sanyasi while doing meditation achieves a state of trance where he can meditate for days, Mr. Naman could have gone endlessly watching television sitting in the pose described above. Had he been a little clairvoyant and foreseen is desire to have icecream before he sat on sofa, he could have avoided getting up and thus avoided the interruption.
In his usual self, Mr. Naman today also followed his usual ordering of having the different meal courses by starting with the desert. Mr. Naman's usual diet is like a sandwich in which the upper and bottom layers consist of a dessert or sweet dish as it is popularly known and main course occupies some space between them. The question on when to stop the first round of dessert, and when to stop the main course so that adequate justice can be done to the final round of dessert is a non-linear optimization problem which even the most talented of mathematicians are unable to solve till today.
After having his meal, he had spent the entire afternoon on hs bed but this time, instead of writing on paper with hands, he was writing with a magical ink which will soon dissolve with the atmosphere as soon as he wakes up. The scientific name of this form of writing is dreams.
Waking up from his afternoon siesta, Mr. Naman spends entire evening walking, hiking the beautiful landscape of Ugar. With no worry about any time restriction to return home, with no idea of time or distance as a dimension, with only a smile on his face and a happy soul, he wanders until the moon comes and acts as a torch to guide him back to home.
Now how Mr. Naman was able to achieve such a feat? With a frequency slightly better than Hayley's comet, Mr. Naman is able to spend such days whenever his parents go to Haridwaar and leave him alone to take care of himself. He still has 2 more days and he feels that he has done enough work for the next two days.
He had not taken his bath for the whole day. Mr. Naman is of the opinion that people bathe because they fell dirty either from inside or outside. Mr. Naman has never experienced such a feeling except when someone else has told him. He had spent the entire morning writing something on his bed and when it came for lunch, he was successful in avoiding eating it on the dining table.
As a bird grips a branch of a tree and starts to enjoy its food amidst clean air and natural tree shade, Mr. Naman today experienced similar joy. He (re)arranged his living room's architecture by dragging a stool near the sofa, then he sat on the sofa, spread his legs on that stool and ate his lunch while watching television and most importantly, without any interruption.
Just like a musician in his riyaas(practice) can go on and on if not interrupted, just like a sanyasi while doing meditation achieves a state of trance where he can meditate for days, Mr. Naman could have gone endlessly watching television sitting in the pose described above. Had he been a little clairvoyant and foreseen is desire to have icecream before he sat on sofa, he could have avoided getting up and thus avoided the interruption.
In his usual self, Mr. Naman today also followed his usual ordering of having the different meal courses by starting with the desert. Mr. Naman's usual diet is like a sandwich in which the upper and bottom layers consist of a dessert or sweet dish as it is popularly known and main course occupies some space between them. The question on when to stop the first round of dessert, and when to stop the main course so that adequate justice can be done to the final round of dessert is a non-linear optimization problem which even the most talented of mathematicians are unable to solve till today.
After having his meal, he had spent the entire afternoon on hs bed but this time, instead of writing on paper with hands, he was writing with a magical ink which will soon dissolve with the atmosphere as soon as he wakes up. The scientific name of this form of writing is dreams.
Waking up from his afternoon siesta, Mr. Naman spends entire evening walking, hiking the beautiful landscape of Ugar. With no worry about any time restriction to return home, with no idea of time or distance as a dimension, with only a smile on his face and a happy soul, he wanders until the moon comes and acts as a torch to guide him back to home.
Now how Mr. Naman was able to achieve such a feat? With a frequency slightly better than Hayley's comet, Mr. Naman is able to spend such days whenever his parents go to Haridwaar and leave him alone to take care of himself. He still has 2 more days and he feels that he has done enough work for the next two days.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Chapter 9
Mr. Naman is a big fan of Quentin Tarantino. This is his homage to the great writer.
Voices
Characters:
(1)Actual
(2)Practical
(3)Diplomat
(4)Extremist
(5)Liberal.
(6)Rational
(Actual)I want to make an adult movie.
(Practical)What? You want to make a movie with sex and porn in it?
(Actual)No, that's not what i meant. I want to make a movie for mature audience. People achieve maturity when they become adult.
(Extremist) Then, you do not know children these days. They are more mature than adults. Have you not heard the DPS scandal etc?
(Liberal) I disagree completely. You should not be divisive using age as a parameter. Truth in any form should not be covered. Let the children see and accept the reality.
(Practical) Dude, have you gone crazy? You will be blown up even before you begin your casting.
(Extremist) Yeah, RSS, VHP, hindu fundamentalist, Muslim extremist, Bengali feminists and Delhi activists, they all will plot to kill you, your effigies will be burnt. Even if you are successful in making the movie, your movie will never see the light of the day.
(Liberal) What the fuck? Everyone has the freedom of expression. It is our right. One should not fear these extremist.
(Practical) (Laughing. Laughing continues)
(Liberal) Have i made a joke here? It is people like you who in your craving for security has allowed such bloody extremists to inject fear in us. It is people like you.....
(Rational) Okay, okay. So what is going to be in the movie? What is the premise?
(Actual) Thank you for allowing me to speak. It is just a movie talking about problems faced by adults like their stress life, old age, and ofcourse sex is an integral part of it.
(Practical) Yeah, no problem is bigger than the fucking sex problems of adult life.
(Rational) What do you think ? (pointing towards diplomat)
(Diplomat) I agree and disagree at the same time. I think it is a great premise but the society is not ready to see such a thing.
(Extremist) Why cant you focus on problems that are not sexual in nature?
(Liberal) Sniggers. Hypocrit, Bloody hypocrit.
(Actual) hmmm, so i need your consent before i choose. Okay. Other topics include atheism, religious fundamentalism, futility of war etc. Will you be able to digest that?
(Liberal) If you go by their terms, all that will be left is a dream.
(Practical) And if you do not then all that will be left is your ashes.
(Rational) Oh, come on, we are going around in circles. There has to be a way out. Diplomat, suggest a way out.
(Diplomat) Me? I say yes and no at the same time. Make a movie but give a spin off to these
topics so that it looks aesthetic. You have to compromise.
(Practical) Yeah, the whole fucking world is running on compromise. Why do you have to walk
differently?
(Liberal) Because it is the truth. There should not be any two ways about it.
(Practical) Let me tell you, there is no such thing as universal truth. Everything is a perception. And so is universal truth. And so is non-universal truth. Every fucking philosophy, every sentiment, every psychology is a perception.
(Rational) What about science? Is that a perception too?
(Extremist) Yes, ofcourse. Science is perception carried to its extreme. The whole science is built on axioms, things assumed to be true, thinks taken for granted. Untill 2 centuries back everyone was convinced that Sun revolved around Earth. Now you say its the opposite. Tomorrow, you will say that earth is not revolving. It is the push-pull phenomenon exhibited by this galaxy which creates this illussion. What will you do?
(Diplomat) Lets not take things out of context. There is no point in discussing what may or may not happen tomorrow. It is possible and impossible at the same time with equal odds.
(Actual) But why can not i talk about these problems? I want to. Society needs a precedent. Its
the Naman theory that is so true.
(Rational) WHat is Naman theory?
(Diplomat) Naman theory is a theory that is seen as the junction where universal truth theory and perception theory as discussed before meet each other. It satisfies both the worlds. It is hailed as the biggest theory in the world of diplomats.
(Practical) But what is it?
(Extremist) Does it satisfy the extremist ideologies as well?
(Actual) Yes, it does. It is not as big as it sounds. It is very simple. According to Naman's theory, people will think mediocre as long as they see mediocrity. You need to look beyond mediocrity to appreciate the cult. For example, consider music. People listen to the current pop music and think it is very good. What they dont listen to is classical music and hence are not exposed to the higher order bits of music. Thus they cant appreciate it and thus mediocre music becomes the best music. Naman theory also explains why super heros have such a following.
They show the mediocrity in other people and hence show that world is beyond what you percieve. It tells that all that society needs is a precedent. Someone to follow. Otherwise they will remain in a state of intertia. When the world was born, when shastras and vedas were written, there was the state of academics and learned. But now is the state of mediocrity. Future may be more dismal. Essentially Naman theory tells the perception of current state and tell how it can be changed. So it changes the perception of people and leads them to universal truth.
(Liberal) which is?
(Actual) The universal truth is that what perception you have, there is a perception to oppose
that and another perception to support that.
(Diplomat) I love this theory.
(Rational) But there is a contradiction somewhere. You see, diplomats are unequivocal about this theory which is against their characteristic. There lies a contradiction.
(Diplomat) No my friend. There lies the beauty. Naman theory supports and negates the characteristic of the diplomat at the same time. It is a higher order recursion. Beautiful, isnt it?
Voices
Characters:
(1)Actual
(2)Practical
(3)Diplomat
(4)Extremist
(5)Liberal.
(6)Rational
(Actual)I want to make an adult movie.
(Practical)What? You want to make a movie with sex and porn in it?
(Actual)No, that's not what i meant. I want to make a movie for mature audience. People achieve maturity when they become adult.
(Extremist) Then, you do not know children these days. They are more mature than adults. Have you not heard the DPS scandal etc?
(Liberal) I disagree completely. You should not be divisive using age as a parameter. Truth in any form should not be covered. Let the children see and accept the reality.
(Practical) Dude, have you gone crazy? You will be blown up even before you begin your casting.
(Extremist) Yeah, RSS, VHP, hindu fundamentalist, Muslim extremist, Bengali feminists and Delhi activists, they all will plot to kill you, your effigies will be burnt. Even if you are successful in making the movie, your movie will never see the light of the day.
(Liberal) What the fuck? Everyone has the freedom of expression. It is our right. One should not fear these extremist.
(Practical) (Laughing. Laughing continues)
(Liberal) Have i made a joke here? It is people like you who in your craving for security has allowed such bloody extremists to inject fear in us. It is people like you.....
(Rational) Okay, okay. So what is going to be in the movie? What is the premise?
(Actual) Thank you for allowing me to speak. It is just a movie talking about problems faced by adults like their stress life, old age, and ofcourse sex is an integral part of it.
(Practical) Yeah, no problem is bigger than the fucking sex problems of adult life.
(Rational) What do you think ? (pointing towards diplomat)
(Diplomat) I agree and disagree at the same time. I think it is a great premise but the society is not ready to see such a thing.
(Extremist) Why cant you focus on problems that are not sexual in nature?
(Liberal) Sniggers. Hypocrit, Bloody hypocrit.
(Actual) hmmm, so i need your consent before i choose. Okay. Other topics include atheism, religious fundamentalism, futility of war etc. Will you be able to digest that?
(Liberal) If you go by their terms, all that will be left is a dream.
(Practical) And if you do not then all that will be left is your ashes.
(Rational) Oh, come on, we are going around in circles. There has to be a way out. Diplomat, suggest a way out.
(Diplomat) Me? I say yes and no at the same time. Make a movie but give a spin off to these
topics so that it looks aesthetic. You have to compromise.
(Practical) Yeah, the whole fucking world is running on compromise. Why do you have to walk
differently?
(Liberal) Because it is the truth. There should not be any two ways about it.
(Practical) Let me tell you, there is no such thing as universal truth. Everything is a perception. And so is universal truth. And so is non-universal truth. Every fucking philosophy, every sentiment, every psychology is a perception.
(Rational) What about science? Is that a perception too?
(Extremist) Yes, ofcourse. Science is perception carried to its extreme. The whole science is built on axioms, things assumed to be true, thinks taken for granted. Untill 2 centuries back everyone was convinced that Sun revolved around Earth. Now you say its the opposite. Tomorrow, you will say that earth is not revolving. It is the push-pull phenomenon exhibited by this galaxy which creates this illussion. What will you do?
(Diplomat) Lets not take things out of context. There is no point in discussing what may or may not happen tomorrow. It is possible and impossible at the same time with equal odds.
(Actual) But why can not i talk about these problems? I want to. Society needs a precedent. Its
the Naman theory that is so true.
(Rational) WHat is Naman theory?
(Diplomat) Naman theory is a theory that is seen as the junction where universal truth theory and perception theory as discussed before meet each other. It satisfies both the worlds. It is hailed as the biggest theory in the world of diplomats.
(Practical) But what is it?
(Extremist) Does it satisfy the extremist ideologies as well?
(Actual) Yes, it does. It is not as big as it sounds. It is very simple. According to Naman's theory, people will think mediocre as long as they see mediocrity. You need to look beyond mediocrity to appreciate the cult. For example, consider music. People listen to the current pop music and think it is very good. What they dont listen to is classical music and hence are not exposed to the higher order bits of music. Thus they cant appreciate it and thus mediocre music becomes the best music. Naman theory also explains why super heros have such a following.
They show the mediocrity in other people and hence show that world is beyond what you percieve. It tells that all that society needs is a precedent. Someone to follow. Otherwise they will remain in a state of intertia. When the world was born, when shastras and vedas were written, there was the state of academics and learned. But now is the state of mediocrity. Future may be more dismal. Essentially Naman theory tells the perception of current state and tell how it can be changed. So it changes the perception of people and leads them to universal truth.
(Liberal) which is?
(Actual) The universal truth is that what perception you have, there is a perception to oppose
that and another perception to support that.
(Diplomat) I love this theory.
(Rational) But there is a contradiction somewhere. You see, diplomats are unequivocal about this theory which is against their characteristic. There lies a contradiction.
(Diplomat) No my friend. There lies the beauty. Naman theory supports and negates the characteristic of the diplomat at the same time. It is a higher order recursion. Beautiful, isnt it?
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