"Naman, hey Naman, get up. There is a letter for you" said Mr. Naman's mother opening the windows of his dark room. It was 10 am on a hot sunny day in Ugar. Mr. Naman opened his eyes and looked at the rotating fan on the ceiling. Watching that celing fan rotate was the first thing he used to do every morning and somehow it brought smile to his face. The cool air circulation, the perpetual motion, and the circular movement, Mr. Naman loved all these abstract aspects of life.
"Whose letter is it, Ma?" asked Mr. Naman. Most of his newspaper article feedback used to come at his office address. He didnt had any pen friend who write to him. Actually Mr. Naman wanted to make one friend while he was young but he didn't like the term pen friend. Why would you name a friend based on the tool of communication, asked Mr. Naman. Surely one does not call your friendly neighbor as wall-friend just because your houses share a common wall. The use of proper words to describe a notion is critical in the world of Mr. Naman.
"How would i know, i have not opened it" responded Mr. Naman's mother. Mr. Naman opened the letter and was surprised to see a fan mail at his home address. The letter writer was a 16 year old kid who was a big fan of Mr. Naman and aspired to be like him. He wanted to learn from Mr. Naman about the requirements to choose writing as his career. How should he shape is future to grab a job in the daily newspaper. He had kept his name anonymous and had asked Mr. Naman to respond in his newspaper column. The letter writer had said that he had found Mr. Naman's home address by stalking him one day.
"Wow!" thought Mr. Naman, "somebody stalked me". Internally he was feeling exuberated on his mini-celebrity status. He wondered how many people like the letter writer would be out there? He thought of immediately write a response to this letter. Mr. Naman was always amazed by people who used to read those self-help books with titles such as - How to say No? or Seven things to be a happy person. The only person who was getting happy in all these books was the book writer because he was making money. The book writers rarely followed what they wrote themselves. Mr. Naman thought that he would respond to this stalker in a similar fashion.
How to build a career in column-writing: The five things to know to be a successful column writer.
By Mr. Naman Ugarwadi.
1. Concentration - One needs to have an excellent power to concentrate on what he is writing. Often, one gets lost in his flow of ideas, a good concentration helps writers to focus on one idea at a time. In order to develop concentration, i suggest learning to peel apple skin in a continuous manner - aka the whole skin should come out as one long piece.
2. Attention to detail - If there is one thing common in all great writers, it has to be their attention to detail. It takes years to get this ability. I suggest you to make a chapati (roti) and ensure that it is a perfect square. You are not allowed to use any external instruments such as rulers in this process.
3. Retention power - Ideas can come anytime. The key is to remember them when you get them to write. Remember what you dreamt last night and write it down the next day, everyday. If you have to, stay awake to capture your dreams although dreams come only when you are asleep.
4. Regularity - You have to write it everyday, a break of mere 2 days and you will find yourself experiencing writer's block. I suggest you to write something everyday, even though it may mean writing the same thing all over again. Your handwriting will be differentiator and if your article/book becomes a hit you will have more than one hand written copies that you can sell.
5. Reading to friends - No matter how good or bad you have written, it is very important that you read that to your friends. They may not like it, go back to your house, or may break your friendship but you must persist. It is only friends feedback that will help you grow. This may even mean that you will have to tie your friends to a chair and read to them, this is indeed very important. Even if you can't do the other four things, you must do this one.
-Mr. Naman.
Feeling quite satisfied by himself that he has mentioned valuable points, Mr. Naman goes to drink some coffee. Somewhere, sometime later a kid will realize the price to stalk someone.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Chapter 19
Jibran was visiting Mr. Naman at his home. He often dropped and together they would chat about some profound topic sharing their their thoughts. Here goes today's dicussion:
Jibran (Ji): How dumb do you think a man can get?
Mr. Naman (Na): What do you mean? Being dumb is not a voluntary action.
Ji: I mean, how much dumb(ness) is allowed to man ?
Na: Aha, that is a good question. Before that, we should define what qualifies as a dumb act.
Ji: Yes indeed. Dictionary defines dumb as an individual who is either slow to learn or who lacks intellectual acuity. But in this context, we are saying that it is the act that defines a person. So a person is dumb if and only if he has done something that is dumb.
Na: I once wore my sweater inside out. Would that qualify as dumb?
Ji: Naman, when would you grow? These discussions, these worldly things, words are not meant for you. You do not fall in this category. So, my question is - what is the lowness of an act that a man is allowed to do?
Na: I once cut my middle finger. It was not painful but there was a small cut. When i tried to put Band-aid on it, i applied the band-aid on my index finger. It went unnoticed for couple of hrs when i realized what i had done. Would you take that as a dumb act?
Ji: There you go again. Naman, stop being a self centered and think keeping others in context. Jibran says that there are two kinds of problems - one that can be solved by applying the question to oneself and other where one has to think beyond and should have a broad perspective. This question falls in the latter category.
Na: I can not solve any mathematical problem such as integration by applying it to my self. So, that means i should have a broad perspective. eh?
Ji: No, that means that you should think beyond and that beyond includes books in this case. Can we please focus on the question at hand?
Na: Jibran Miyan, i think i have an answer.
Ji: I hope it is not another of your examples.
Na: No, not this time. Within each circle of society, something is expected from people forming that society. Some acts are just nor permitted because the circle expects some level of acuity from its participants. A dumb act varies from circle to circle. An extreme dumb act for each circle is the 50% less than the lowest expectation.
Ji: What?
Na: Let me explain you with an example. If a president wears his sweater inside out, it is clearly not acceptable but it would never happen, because when you become president, even the lowest expectation is very high. So, 50% less than the lowest expectation is also very high and thus his dumb acts are limited to such as taking a car to go to a store that is only 5 mins by walking. Now lets take example of a beggar. In his circle, that level of expectation is already very low and thus his dumb acts can be really dumb.
Ji: I see. That makes sense. You know what the good part about your theory is - It even applies to you.
Na: Me? How?
Ji: In your circle of society, the expectation from you is nothing. So your level of dumb acts is limitless. Practically, any act that you do could be classified as a dumb act.
Na: Now, you are taunting me. Remember, you are listening and talking to me, someone out there is reading this, you are all a part of my circle then.
Ji: Ofcourse we are. Its good to be a part of this one that anyone out there.
Jibran (Ji): How dumb do you think a man can get?
Mr. Naman (Na): What do you mean? Being dumb is not a voluntary action.
Ji: I mean, how much dumb(ness) is allowed to man ?
Na: Aha, that is a good question. Before that, we should define what qualifies as a dumb act.
Ji: Yes indeed. Dictionary defines dumb as an individual who is either slow to learn or who lacks intellectual acuity. But in this context, we are saying that it is the act that defines a person. So a person is dumb if and only if he has done something that is dumb.
Na: I once wore my sweater inside out. Would that qualify as dumb?
Ji: Naman, when would you grow? These discussions, these worldly things, words are not meant for you. You do not fall in this category. So, my question is - what is the lowness of an act that a man is allowed to do?
Na: I once cut my middle finger. It was not painful but there was a small cut. When i tried to put Band-aid on it, i applied the band-aid on my index finger. It went unnoticed for couple of hrs when i realized what i had done. Would you take that as a dumb act?
Ji: There you go again. Naman, stop being a self centered and think keeping others in context. Jibran says that there are two kinds of problems - one that can be solved by applying the question to oneself and other where one has to think beyond and should have a broad perspective. This question falls in the latter category.
Na: I can not solve any mathematical problem such as integration by applying it to my self. So, that means i should have a broad perspective. eh?
Ji: No, that means that you should think beyond and that beyond includes books in this case. Can we please focus on the question at hand?
Na: Jibran Miyan, i think i have an answer.
Ji: I hope it is not another of your examples.
Na: No, not this time. Within each circle of society, something is expected from people forming that society. Some acts are just nor permitted because the circle expects some level of acuity from its participants. A dumb act varies from circle to circle. An extreme dumb act for each circle is the 50% less than the lowest expectation.
Ji: What?
Na: Let me explain you with an example. If a president wears his sweater inside out, it is clearly not acceptable but it would never happen, because when you become president, even the lowest expectation is very high. So, 50% less than the lowest expectation is also very high and thus his dumb acts are limited to such as taking a car to go to a store that is only 5 mins by walking. Now lets take example of a beggar. In his circle, that level of expectation is already very low and thus his dumb acts can be really dumb.
Ji: I see. That makes sense. You know what the good part about your theory is - It even applies to you.
Na: Me? How?
Ji: In your circle of society, the expectation from you is nothing. So your level of dumb acts is limitless. Practically, any act that you do could be classified as a dumb act.
Na: Now, you are taunting me. Remember, you are listening and talking to me, someone out there is reading this, you are all a part of my circle then.
Ji: Ofcourse we are. Its good to be a part of this one that anyone out there.
Chapter 18
It was precisely 5 minutes Mr. Naman had left his house to go office. But now he is back at home and changing his clothes to wear Pyjamas. No, if you are thinking that today Mr. Naman is planning to go to his office in his pyjamas, someday i am sure you will be right, but not today.
Since Mr. Naman is back in 5 minutes, exactly after 2 minutes and 30 seconds, he would have decided to turn back for his home. What force can cause a man to change his mind to stay at home in 2 mins 30 seconds. Well, there are many such forces like headaches in stomach, mid-week office-sickness, start-week office sickness, end-week office-sickness and anyday everyday office-sickness. But these forces are nothing when compared to what drove Mr. Naman back home. Its the force known as - idea. It can strike anyone at anytime and anywhere. It compels one to stop doing what one is doing and do something that he is not doing. Mostly that something is think more about the idea and hence this is extremely viral. Fortunately for humans, this force is present in few people but unfortunately it covers up its lack of coverage by inundating some minds. Mr. Naman is such a human primate who suffers from strokes of idea many times a week. Even though it sounds glib but actually they are some of the most beautiful moments of one's life. It is like doing drugs - it sounds bad but ecstasy, aaah! the high feeling is beyond words.
Mr. Naman has to go and meet Jibran(*) now. Jibran is a fourteen year old kid, "He is not a kid" yells Mr. Naman from the text. Point noted. Jibran is a fourteen year old guy who has read almost all kinds of books in this world. His main interest is in the area of philosophy and in this area, not only he has read hundreds of books, he has also written one book which he soon wishes to publish. If you are wondering how or why a fourteen year old has read so many books, there is no obvious answer other than the fact that Jibran was born with a hole in his heart. Due to which he was not allowed to play outside. So when others were playing cricket, Jibran was sitting inside his home reading books. Jibran is one of the most erudite philosophers present today and surely he is the most learned in the whole of Ugar.
Jibran has stopped going to school, rather the opposite happened. The teachers of the school requested Jibran's parents to stop sending him because his knowledge had superseded their knowledge. His physics teacher was furious when she was pestered by his curious question on what would happen if everyone on planet Earth jumped at the same time. His Chemistry teacher, Mr. David, threw him out of class when he brought a boiled egg and asked him to reverse the reaction. When Mr. David that boiling an egg is an irreversible reaction, Jibran innocently asked that if life the most complicated thing ever existed is reversible through reincarnation, why cant you turn an egg back into liquid state. Jibran's Mathematics teacher just gave up because Jibran had learnt college mathematics and used to stare outside the window in his lectures making faces showing no doubt that he was bored.
Jibran and Mr. Naman were quite close friends. I think Mr. Naman was the only one who was able to understand jibran's words in whole of Ugar and Jibran was the only one who thought that Mr. Naman was an intellectual. In general people had no doubt on Jibran's profound knowledge and judgement. It was only when Jibran said openly once that Mr. Naman is an intellectual that they started having doubts on him and said that too much book reading has made him crazy. Jibran ignored them and Mr. Naman was too involved in himself to give a thought to it.
Now, Mr. Naman is walking towards Jibran's home to discuss his idea with him. "What is it" shouts Jibran from his window. Mr. Naman sees him and instead of going into the house, he walks towards Jibran's window to discuss the matter him.
Mr. Naman: I have got a good title for your book.
Jibran: Really, what is it?
Mr. Naman: It is a foolproof - the title is generic and your book will be a definite hit.
Jibran: What is it, Naman? Now i am getting worried.
Mr. Naman: The title is "Book for an intellectual. Do you get the beauty.
Jibran (with a confused face, semi excited, semi disappointed): Get what?
Mr. Naman: Oh Jibran! See, with this title, anyone who reads this book can not say that he did not like it. If he is an intellectual, he would like it. But if some one does not like the book, he cannot say no because then he would be saying that he is not an intellectual. No one likes to call oneself a moron except a few exceptions.
Jibran: But this book is not meant for everyone. It is meant only for few intellectuals.
Mr. Naman: Yes, i know. But with this title, everyone will feel like an intellectual.
Jibram: Sometimes, I think your view of world is too optimistic. Anyways, since you are my friend, i will not discard the title in your face. But ultimately, it would loose to something that makes sense.
Mr. Naman: I see. I will keep it for one of my books in that case. Ciao. I should go to office now.
(*) Note from author: Jibran is a character that i have borrowed from the Pakistani drama - Ankahi (Unkahi). No permission has been sought while borrowing the character. If someone has any objections, please leave a comment here.
Since Mr. Naman is back in 5 minutes, exactly after 2 minutes and 30 seconds, he would have decided to turn back for his home. What force can cause a man to change his mind to stay at home in 2 mins 30 seconds. Well, there are many such forces like headaches in stomach, mid-week office-sickness, start-week office sickness, end-week office-sickness and anyday everyday office-sickness. But these forces are nothing when compared to what drove Mr. Naman back home. Its the force known as - idea. It can strike anyone at anytime and anywhere. It compels one to stop doing what one is doing and do something that he is not doing. Mostly that something is think more about the idea and hence this is extremely viral. Fortunately for humans, this force is present in few people but unfortunately it covers up its lack of coverage by inundating some minds. Mr. Naman is such a human primate who suffers from strokes of idea many times a week. Even though it sounds glib but actually they are some of the most beautiful moments of one's life. It is like doing drugs - it sounds bad but ecstasy, aaah! the high feeling is beyond words.
Mr. Naman has to go and meet Jibran(*) now. Jibran is a fourteen year old kid, "He is not a kid" yells Mr. Naman from the text. Point noted. Jibran is a fourteen year old guy who has read almost all kinds of books in this world. His main interest is in the area of philosophy and in this area, not only he has read hundreds of books, he has also written one book which he soon wishes to publish. If you are wondering how or why a fourteen year old has read so many books, there is no obvious answer other than the fact that Jibran was born with a hole in his heart. Due to which he was not allowed to play outside. So when others were playing cricket, Jibran was sitting inside his home reading books. Jibran is one of the most erudite philosophers present today and surely he is the most learned in the whole of Ugar.
Jibran has stopped going to school, rather the opposite happened. The teachers of the school requested Jibran's parents to stop sending him because his knowledge had superseded their knowledge. His physics teacher was furious when she was pestered by his curious question on what would happen if everyone on planet Earth jumped at the same time. His Chemistry teacher, Mr. David, threw him out of class when he brought a boiled egg and asked him to reverse the reaction. When Mr. David that boiling an egg is an irreversible reaction, Jibran innocently asked that if life the most complicated thing ever existed is reversible through reincarnation, why cant you turn an egg back into liquid state. Jibran's Mathematics teacher just gave up because Jibran had learnt college mathematics and used to stare outside the window in his lectures making faces showing no doubt that he was bored.
Jibran and Mr. Naman were quite close friends. I think Mr. Naman was the only one who was able to understand jibran's words in whole of Ugar and Jibran was the only one who thought that Mr. Naman was an intellectual. In general people had no doubt on Jibran's profound knowledge and judgement. It was only when Jibran said openly once that Mr. Naman is an intellectual that they started having doubts on him and said that too much book reading has made him crazy. Jibran ignored them and Mr. Naman was too involved in himself to give a thought to it.
Now, Mr. Naman is walking towards Jibran's home to discuss his idea with him. "What is it" shouts Jibran from his window. Mr. Naman sees him and instead of going into the house, he walks towards Jibran's window to discuss the matter him.
Mr. Naman: I have got a good title for your book.
Jibran: Really, what is it?
Mr. Naman: It is a foolproof - the title is generic and your book will be a definite hit.
Jibran: What is it, Naman? Now i am getting worried.
Mr. Naman: The title is "Book for an intellectual. Do you get the beauty.
Jibran (with a confused face, semi excited, semi disappointed): Get what?
Mr. Naman: Oh Jibran! See, with this title, anyone who reads this book can not say that he did not like it. If he is an intellectual, he would like it. But if some one does not like the book, he cannot say no because then he would be saying that he is not an intellectual. No one likes to call oneself a moron except a few exceptions.
Jibran: But this book is not meant for everyone. It is meant only for few intellectuals.
Mr. Naman: Yes, i know. But with this title, everyone will feel like an intellectual.
Jibram: Sometimes, I think your view of world is too optimistic. Anyways, since you are my friend, i will not discard the title in your face. But ultimately, it would loose to something that makes sense.
Mr. Naman: I see. I will keep it for one of my books in that case. Ciao. I should go to office now.
(*) Note from author: Jibran is a character that i have borrowed from the Pakistani drama - Ankahi (Unkahi). No permission has been sought while borrowing the character. If someone has any objections, please leave a comment here.
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